Can I go to New York? Aw, come on ... can I, huh, can I ... please ... pretty please? With sugar on top??

I mean, I learn something every day here about how to put out a newspaper, spelling big words and the care and feeding of photographers, but can I really learn much more here?

Naah, if I'm really going to learn good stuff, I need to go to New York.

I think it's important to observe how a Broadway play is reviewed. We don't review our local plays and this could be a growth area for us, so why not go to a place where it's done all the time? And of course I'll share the techniques I pick up with the gang over in features.

This may require orchestra seats and a cocktail or two between acts ... just so you'll know.

I also think it's important to observe how a Yankees game is covered ... OK, I could study the Fresno Grizzlies or the Visalia Oaks, but I've been to Chukchansi Park (of course, that was back when it was Grizzlies Stadium) and Recreation Park already. Besides, it freaks me out hearing Doug Greenwald broadcast the Grizzlies' games after listening to his dad describe the Giants all those years. And, hey, I can pass along the information to the sports guys.

This may require seats behind home plate and a hot dog or two ... just so you'll know.

There's lots of other things I think I can learn about there as well ... how the New York papers cover cleaning the Statue of Liberty, how things are going at ground zero, are the instruments in tune in Greenwich Village and really important investigative issues like, is the Bronx really up? Is the Battery really down? And why are those people going through a hole in the ground?

This may require a subway token or two ... just so you'll know. You can't ask those questions just anywhere. I've got to be a part of it, in a city that doesn't sleep.

Speaking of sleeping ... I figure about $300 a night would be right, just by checking a few travel sites online. $447 a night? That's a bit much, don't you think? And, yeah, I could stay outside of the city's core ... but you've got to be at the center of things, after all, it is the Big Apple.

Speaking of food ... not counting those expenses already mentioned, I figure about $100 a day.

On my pay, I'm used to ordering something not on the dollar menu to be a gourmet treat and wouldn't dream of buying lavish meals on someone else's dime ... and the tips couldn't be that much, could they?

So what do you say, oh bosses of bosses? Pleeeeeeeze?

I can't? You say I have responsibilities here and they come first? And you can probably find a way to learn the same stuff much cheaper, without leaving California?

Oh, well, I tried.

(Richard de Give is The Sentinel's copy editor. Reach him at 582-0471 ext. 3048 or at rdegive@hanfordsentinel.com.)

(May 29, 2007)