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Wish to reunite with daughter helps Blackwell beat addiction

James Blackwell remembers back in 1992, all his friends were using meth. And though he resisted using it at first, he finally gave in and tried it. Too scared to smoke it, he mixed it in a glass with Kool-Aid and drank it.

He said after the initial effects of eye tearing and chemical taste went away, he felt happy, energetic and problem-free.

"I was up and I was happy and I was talking a lot and walking all over town with my buddies, having a good ol' time," Blackwell said. "It was unbelievable. I just had fun, I had a blast."

But then, after the rush subsided, he remembers feeling angry, tired, short-tempered.

Though he used meth for the next 15 years, he said he wanted to quit after 10 years.

"After 10 years, I started to see I wasn't going anywhere, I didn't accomplish anything," he said.

Because of his meth use, he lost jobs, relationships, cars and was homeless for a time. He was arrested numerous times, spent three years in prison and almost lost his daughter, Emma, to Kings County Child Protective Services.

"I had my daughter, I always wanted to provide for her and here I am just worrying how to get myself high," he said.

In May 2005, Blackwell was arrested for check forgery. He spent three months at Wasco State Prison Reception Center before being sent to California Substance Abuse Treatment Facility and State Prison at Corcoran to begin serving his three-year sentence.

While in prison, he learned his daughter, then 20 months old, had been placed in CPS custody after her mother had tested positive for meth.

It was in SATF that he began getting to see his daughter again. CPS social workers brought Emma to SATF for monthly visits.

"The reason it's so easy for me to kick meth is that it came between me and my daughter," Blackwell said. "I missed a year and a half of her life. Having to go through not hearing from her, not being around her."

Blackwell has remained sober since May 12, 2005.

He completed a year and a half in prison and four months in an inpatient drug treatment furlough in Fresno. He also spent six months in a sober living house in Visalia.

Since quitting meth, he's begun getting his life back on track.

He is on his way to getting joint custody of his daughter.

He's currently working in grounds maintenance at Lemoore Naval Air Station.

Though he's still on parole, there's a chance he may get an early discharge from parole for good behavior.

He serves on the Kings County Behavioral Health and Advisory Board, which provides insight on county services, and has been a member of a panel on addiction for a college social science class.

Blackwell is hopeful about his future.

"I'm not discouraged any," he said. "It seems like anything's possible. It's bright and it's getting brighter as the days go on."

The reporter can be reached at 582-0471, ext. 3052.

(Sept. 23, 2007)

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FORMER HANFORD RESIDENT wrote on Sep 23, 2007 10:08 AM:

" JAMES KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. NOTHING IS AS IMPORTANT AS OUR CHILDREN. I HOPE THAT THE COURTS SEE ALL THE GOOD YOU ARE NOW DOING AND GRANT YOU THE CUSTODY THAT YOU SEEK IN REGARDS TO YOUR DAUGHTER. YOU HAVE GONE FROM TWEEKER TO A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF THE HANFORD COMMUNITY. MAD PROPS TO YOU!!! "

Good Job !!! wrote on Sep 23, 2007 2:45 PM:

" I LOVE GOOD ENDING LIKE THIS I WISH YOU LOTS OF LUCK AND THAT YOU MAY NEVER TAKE STEPS BACK ALWAYS FOWARD. I HOPE YOU READ THIS AND GIVE ME SOME POSSITIVE IDEAS ON WHAT I SHOULD DO AND SAY TO MY SON. HE TOO HAS A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY BUT KEEPS LETTING DRUGS GET IN HIS WAY OF TAKING CARE OF THAT FAMILY I KNOW HE LOVES HIS FAMILY BUT ALSO HAS THAT WEAK SIDE OF HIM THAT LEADS HIM BACK TO DRUGS. I HOPE THAT YOU CAN SEE THIS AND ANSWER ME I CAN SEND YOU MY E-MAIL IF YOU WISH TO HELP ME ON THIS. MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS AND YOUR FAMILY "

MS wrote on Sep 24, 2007 12:50 PM:

" God Bless You. I pray for ongoing strenght for you. "

MZD wrote on Sep 24, 2007 1:02 PM:

" GOD BLESS YOU EVERY WHERE YOU GO WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. KEEP GOING FOWARD NO STEP BACK. i WISH YOU CAN GIVE ME SOME POSSITIVE IDEA. BECAUSE A MEMBER OF MY FAMILY IS GOING THRU A HARD TIME WITH DRUGS AND HE IS ONLY 18YRS OF AGE. I HOPE YOU READ MY MESSAGE THANK YOU. "

take their kids wrote on Sep 24, 2007 1:03 PM:

" That seems to be the only thing that these tweekers respond to. Maybe its because they love them or maybe its because they need their welfare money. Either way they all seem to want to get sober when they lose their kids. Close all of the Prop 36 drug rehabs and just take their kids away. It may cost more to equip CPS but we'll save a lot more by closing the tax payer funded rehabs. If all they did was use meth, we don't need to even send them to jail saving even more money. It kinda like when your kid does someething bad, you take their favorite toy. If they don't have kids then take away any spare time they have by putting them to work, hard work because jail is too easy, but stop wasting money. Redirect our resources to going after the providers. "

knows wrote on Oct 11, 2007 2:40 AM:

" I myself am a survior of meth. thanks to a good recovery home an my children I have just celebrated 10 years. You are an inspiration to others so keep moving forward. As for just taking peoples kids thats sad for anyone to say that. Alot of people on meth do not have enough mental clarity to stop because of that, It takes recovery places to help people get a foundation to start there recovery. No one thing dose it but a combination of things. "




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