A week spent with “Uncharted 2: Among Thieves” has left us in the mood to rob some tombs. “Tomb Raider: Anniversary” edition, then.

We were going to play “Tomb Raider: Underworld,” the most recent game in the series, but we figured this was a perfect opportunity to review a game which, itself, is a remake of another game we played once before.

In 1996, “Tomb Raider” was kind of remarkable. It featured a woman with a cartoonishly large bust who shoots men and animals as she defiles ancient temples to steal old relics. The concept blew people’s minds, and Lara Croft ended up in movies, comic books, magazines, you name it.

To us, it was a chance to play an Indiana Jones game while we waited for an actual Indiana Jones game. Now that we think about it, we’re still waiting for a good Indiana Jones game, and if the most recent movie is any indication, we’ve got a better chance of finding Fortune and Glory.

Corny jokes aside, we look at “Tomb Raider: Anniversary” with the critical eye of a lifetime video gamer and say, with all our hearts: “Meh.”

It’s not that “Anniversary” is a bad game. It’s just not a good game. In the 10 years since the original game was released, it’s amazing that the series still suffers from the same problems.

First, the plot: Lara Croft is an international adventurer and part-time archeologist.

“I’m just in it for sport,” she flippantly remarks at one point, and we believe her, because she lives in a giant mansion with a butler and everything.

The owner of a billion-dollar technology company hires her to find the “Scion of Atlantis,” an ancient artifact once sought by Lara’s father. The Scion has been scattered across the globe, split into three pieces all being sought by other fortune hunters.

This is a story the “Tomb Raider” designers just love. An ancient artifact of incredible power is broken into several pieces and scattered across the world.

The implications are astonishing. These civilizations must have been pretty advanced to not only build such incredible artifacts, but also to create elaborate temples thousands of miles apart just to house them. And here we thought just crossing the Atlantic Ocean was a big deal.

Each level is set inside a different temple, ruin, crumbling monastery, etc. Lara must get through the level by solving puzzles and dodging deadly traps. Occasionally she is attacked by gorillas, jaguars, tigers, lions and even giant rats with glowing eyes. Many times we were left wondering just how these animals got in there, and worse, how some of them managed to survive thousands of years without, like, starving to death.

Perhaps we are thinking about this too much. But why not? The creators have made a game that is, ultimately, quite perplexing.

It’s never too clear exactly what the “Tomb Raider” games are all about. To unfairly compare it to “Uncharted 2,” we understand that “Uncharted” is an action game. Though it deals with ancient relics and the mysteries of histories, the focus is on shooting people. Exploration is secondary.

In “Anniversary,” the focus appears to be on exploration, yet the game punishes the player relentlessly for veering off course. There is only one true path through each level and deviating rarely reveals more than a secret room or two. Often it’s just an alcove with some extra ammo in it. And how did those bullets get there? Maybe the Mayans were packing heat.

Most of the game is centered around jumping, climbing and moving between platforms to scale walls and access seemingly unreachable areas. This is fine. We are still secretly hoping the creators of “Prince of Persia: Sands of Time” will make a game all about climbing giant, incredible structures. The problem is, in “Anniversary,” the climbing is not fun. It’s brutal and punishing. If we miss a jump, press the button too soon, whatever, we fall and we die. Then, we return to a checkpoint and are forced to start the climb all over again.

Once or twice and this is fine. Multiply by 10 and suddenly we get very, very irritated.

This is not a new problem. In fact, it’s been a staple of the series since day one. We remember, because we had to use a hint guide to beat the original back in 1996. And even then: We still fell to our deaths many, many times.

But just because it’s traditional doesn’t mean it is necessary. There’s no reason why, when Lara Croft falls 300 feet to her death, the screen can’t just fade out and back in with Lara back on the same ledge she plunged off to her death moments before.

We can just picture the creators grinding their teeth as they read this. “You can’t do that!” They’d say. “It will ruin the challenge of the game!”

To counter, we’d say: We grew up playing games like “Myst,” which rewarded players for exploration. Why not make the temples in “Anniversary” more of an open-world game, where players can discover multiple routes through the ruins? Heck, there could even be a competitive multiplayer mode, where people compete to see who can reach the artifact first.

Man, we’d make a fortune with these ideas of ours.

Anyway, “Tomb Raider: Anniversary” is a remake of a decades-old game and it feels like it. Please try to avoid it. If you’re looking for an Indiana Jones game, play “Uncharted.”

The reporter can be reached at 583-2425.

(Oct. 30, 2009)